Allegories (or is it Allusions?)

I just tried to convince one of my consultants that his broken Word document was like the platform for the train to Hogwarts. You know, Platform # 9¾? The one that’s invisible, but if you run straight at the very real-seeming wall, you magically don’t crash headfirst into brick but instead end up where you want to go? You know the one I mean.

Only in this case he needed to delete something that didn’t seem to exist in order to fix his problem. (He had a mysterious extra section break that was throwing off his page numbering, if you must know.)

Anyway, the metaphor made more sense in my head. Before I tried to explain it.

Maybe I need better allegories. Or is it allusions? Crap. Now I have to go find literary works to cite that aren’t written for pre-teens AND a dictionary. Lame.

Timidity

Coworker: How's it going?

Me: Good, but I'm really busy. I've been here for almost 12 hours now with no lunch break and I still have more work to get done before I can go home.

Coworker: That's nice. Did I ever tell you about my favorite pen? I could write a sonnet about how much I love this pen. In fact, I'm going to stand here in your office and eulogize about my pen, ad nauseam, for 45 minutes...

***

Seriously, why can’t I just tell people to buzz off?

Impetus

So in my eternal quest to keep "The Man" happy (a.k.a. remain gainfully employed), I'm sometimes (regularly) asked to do things I don't really like. What kinds of things, you may ask? (Or more likely not, but you've read this far, don't stop now!) Well, I work in marketing, so my job is to find ways to invade your life and convince you it would be better if you picked XYZ. In my case, XYZ is a financial related product.

Who likes thinking about this kind of financial stuff?

No one.

I'm not into the sexy financial stuff like stocks, I'm into the stuff where people cringe and back away slowly when you mention it.

So my job is to sell you something that you probably need but don't want to think about.