Culling

This weekend I tried on everything I don't wear regularly and ditched anything I wouldn't buy all over again if I was trying it on in a store today. Sure I saved a few things for sentimental reasons, but I've already filled two whole garbage bags with clothing to donate and I have more still to go!

Let me explain. (And this is where the crazy starts, so if you're adverse to insanity, now might be the time to avert your eyes.)

I had a revelation last week that I horde a lot of things simply because the thought of getting rid of them makes me feel bad for some reason: guilt for having wasted money on it to begin with, regret that it wasn't exactly what I wanted, sadness that I'm not as skinny as I was in high school, loss that something I used to love has shrunk or stretched out or worn out, or whatever.

So I kept all kinds of things, because trashing any of them made me feel like I was saying I was a failure. Or, if it was a gift from someone, like I don't love them enough to enjoy the gift they gave me.

(What? Letting posessions make you feel bad about yourself isn't sane? Pfft. Whose blog do you think this is? I'm pretty sure I never promised sanity here.)

I realized that the reality is that every time I just look at those not-used items, it makes me feel the same sense of failure anyway. And if I get rid of it, it won't sit there staring me in the face and making me feel like crap.

It's still kind of hard to get rid of things, but I keep reminding myself that sure, I may be giving up a blouse (one I never wear or don't like myself in), but what I'm really doing is purging myself of the negative feelings I have when I look at that blouse. And if I make room in my closet [house/life/whatever], then maybe I'll wear the things I like more because I can actually find them. And I can feel good, and happy when I walk in my closet [house/life/whatever] instead of stressed.

Added bonus? I found out that I fit into clothing I wore back in college. (That's almost 10 years ago, if you're counting.) Huzzah, me!

Added, added bonus? I found clothing I love but didn't even remember I owned. (How sad is that?) It was like shopping in my own closet. :o)

I've also purged old magazines, bath products, makeup, knick knacks, and other odds and ends. (Basically, if you're not one of my favorite posessions and you're not nailed down, look out!)

Whew! Anyway, that's my tale of not-so-fascinating intrigue. I think you deserve a cookie or something for hanging in there to the end and not running away when you realized the magnatude of my insanity.